“No, we’ve always done it this way and that’s why we’ll do it again,” says Callida’s boss curtly when Callida suggests that every employee could bring their partner to this year’s company outing. At this moment, she realizes that further arguing is pointless. She is ashamed and feels powerless.

Callida is in charge of organizing the excursion and had suggested an original location to freshen up the annual dinner above the rooftops of Munich. The reaction of her boss unsettles Callida and makes her perplexed.

Her shyness prevents her from contradicting her boss. Later, her colleagues share their disappointment and anger at the boss’s decision. This incident is not an isolated incident and clouds Callida’s joy at work, although she loves her job as a whole and even sees it as her calling .

 

Blog story: Arguing with persuasiveness: Two essential principles

 

1 Life Coach Analysis: Goals and Practical Tools
2 Conclusion: The Importance of Cooperation and Clarity
3 What is argumentation?
4 Reasoning and psychology
5 tips: argue

 

1. Life Coach Analysis: Goals and Practical Tools

 

Callida comes to me and wants to deal with the topic of arguing after she was confronted with a conflict by her boss.
She wants to achieve 3 goals:
1. Increase self-esteem
2. Mastering conflicts
3. Argue and persuade better

 

Goal 1: Increase self-esteem

Callida strives to strengthen her self-esteem in order to appear more confident in conflict situations. Increased self-esteem will allow her to defend her points of view with more conviction and serenity.

Practical exercise: Recognizing the facets of self-worth

Callida learns to identify and understand the different aspects of her self-worth. Through reflection and introspection, she gains a deeper understanding of her strengths and values. This leads to her appearing more self-confident and self-confident despite her high sensitivity . She is aware of her own abilities and values and can therefore act confidently.

Goal 2: Manage conflicts

Callida wants to learn how to manage conflicts more effectively and improve her communication skills in the process. It strives to tackle problems constructively and to create a cooperative basis for discussion.

Practical Exercise: Cooperative Communication in Role Plays

We conduct role-plays in which she first reacts cooperatively and signals understanding before presenting her own arguments. This exercise helps her develop a respectful and open communication style . Through this new approach, she gains the respect of her boss and creates a positive basis for further conversations. She has overcome her anxious attitude and is now more motivated at work.

 

Goal 3: Argue and persuade

 

Callida wants to develop her skills in the field of reasoning and persuasiveness in order to be able to act more effectively in discussions and conversations. She has now realized that her somewhat narcissistic boss used a bogus argument .

Practical Exercise: Convincing Presentation and Argumentation

Callida practices presenting her arguments in a structured and convincing way. She uses the four steps of argumentation (claim, justification, example, conclusion) and in this way shows her boss how a company outing with partners can strengthen team dynamics and improve the working atmosphere.
Through this rhetorically convincing presentation, Callida succeeds in convincing her boss to accept the proposal for this year’s excursion. She is happy that she achieved her goals so quickly.

 

2. The importance of cooperation and clarity

Callida’s experience clearly shows the importance of cooperation and clear argumentation. By first reacting cooperatively and signaling understanding, she creates a positive atmosphere with her boss, thereby gaining their respect and then being able to present her arguments clearly and confidently.
Cooperation and clear argumentation are therefore crucial to successfully convince and initiate positive change.

 

3. What is argumentation?

 

When arguing, you ideally represent an important point of view or a clear assertion, with the aim of convincing someone. If you want to argue correctly, justifications and examples must not be missing. In order to be able to argue well, it is important to stick to 4 simple steps:

1) Assertion → the initial thesis (it should be relevant and unambiguous)

2) Justification → explanation of why the claim is important and correct

3) Example → shows the importance of assertion and justification and provides evidence

4) Conclusion → here the 3 previous steps are put into context and to the point

 

4. Reasoning: The 6 Principles of Persuasion

 

The Six Principles of Persuasion, by psychology professor and expert Robert B. Cialdini in persuasive communication, describe psychological mechanisms that aim to influence the behavior of others.

Whether these principles are considered persuasion or manipulation depends heavily on the intention and context in which they are applied.

The 6 principles of persuasion:

1. The principle of reciprocity:

People feel obliged to give back what they have received. For example, people are more willing to tip at a restaurant after being offered a free aperitif there.

2. The principle of commitment and consistency:

People strive to appear consistent with their previous decisions and statements. If someone has publicly stated that they eat healthier, they are more likely to stick to this statement.

3. The principle of social proof:

We often look to the behavior of others to decide what is appropriate. When many people use an app, others tend to download and use it as well.

4. The principle of sympathy:

People are more likely to be persuaded by people they like and who are similar to them. A salesperson can improve their chances if they relate to commonalities with the customer.

5. The principle of authority:

People tend to follow instructions from people who are considered authorities. A doctor can more easily convince patients to take certain medications.

6. The principle of scarcity:

People value things more when they are scarce or limited. An offer like “only 3 items available” can increase the incentive to buy.

 

5. Argue better: 15 tips

1. Listen properly: Focus on actively listening instead of just waiting for your own response. Show interest in what you’re talking to is saying by giving them your full attention.
2. Act smart: Give the other person the feeling that a (philosophical) idea comes from them, this can help to promote an open discussion.
3. Show appreciation: Show appreciation and praise for the ideas and opinions of others before presenting your arguments. This creates a positive atmosphere for discussion.
4. Empathy: Try to put yourself in the shoes of your conversation partner. Understand his perspective and feelings to better respond to them.
5. Clear structure: Structure your arguments in clear steps, such as claim, justification, example and conclusion, to strengthen your persuasiveness.
6. Body language: Pay attention to your body language to radiate self-confidence and openness. Maintain eye contact and show an upright posture.
7. Consider high sensitivity: Be especially empathetic if you know that your conversation partner is highly sensitive. Make sure you have a gentle conversation.
8. Recognize cognitive dissonance: Proceed cautiously and show respect for different views. People tend to ignore information that contradicts their beliefs.
9. Pay attention to the mindset: Encourage your counterpart to develop a positive mindset by pointing out opportunities and solutions instead of problems.
10. Authenticity: Stay authentic and honest to build trust
11. Stay cool and calm: Keep a cool head and stay calm, even if the discussion gets heated. Emotional control is crucial.
12. Look for common ground: Find commonalities and overlaps in your points of view to create a basis for a constructive conversation.
13. Adapt your fluency: Adapt your language to the level of understanding of the person you’re talking to. Avoid technical terms or complicated phrases to avoid misunderstandings.
14. Storytelling: Use stories or case studies to make complex topics more tangible and memorable.
15. Charisma and expression: Work on your personal expression and body language to increase charisma and persuasiveness.