Charisma at work: 15 characteristics that determine your charisma

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Charisma at work is difficult for many people to grasp, but almost everyone knows what it means:

“Her aura appears to brighten every corner and enhance the contours of reality.” Something mysterious surrounds her, as if she carries the secrets of the world in her eyes.’

Anita describes in a similarly poetic way the effect that her colleague Felicitas has on the employees of the architectural office.

“She desires to have that kind of presence.” In doing so, she is aware that some people have a natural talent that is associated with charisma or attraction.

She took a piece of paper with her on which she scribbled her goals:

Become more charismatic
Get rid of shyness
Learn to have interesting conversations.


Text: Charisma at work

Content: Charisma at work

1. Charisma at Work: Life Coach Analysis
2. Charisma at work: goals and practical tools
3. Psychology: charisma and narcissism
4. Fifteen Characteristics of Charisma
5. Charisma or narcissism?

1. Charisma at Work: Analysis Life Coach

Anita’s main goal of becoming more charismatic is inspired by her admiration for her colleague. She is fascinated by the effect her presence has on others. As a highly sensitive person , she longs to develop similar qualities and achieve a similar charisma.

We were able to dispel her fear that her colleague might be a narcissist after all, more on that later


2. Charisma at work: goals and practical tools

To increase Anita’s charisma, we focus on boosting her self-esteem and improving her body language.

To overcome their shyness and practice small talk, we visit cafes and bars. There she learns to master the transition from small talk to deeper conversations.


Goal 1: Increase self-esteem

Charisma starts with a strong sense of self-worth. Anita realizes that it is important to become aware of her own strengths and abilities and to accept herself .

Practical tools: best self and body language

Best Self-Exercise:

Anita performs a “best self” exercise by recalling a moment when she felt particularly free, serene, happy, successful and self-confident: during an inspiring lecture during her high school days. By reliving this memory with all her senses, Anita also becomes aware of the strength of her body language. She manages to bring this feeling back into her lectures at work.


Goal 2 – Get rid of shyness

To become more charismatic, it is important for Anita to overcome her shyness in work-related situations . Role-playing and practical exercises help her to feel more comfortable in conversations with colleagues and to appear more confident.

Practical tools: pick up and give compliments

Anita actively practices role-playing to start the conversation with a friendly smile, eye contact or attentive listening.

Giving Subtle Compliments: She learns to give authentic and subtle compliments to encourage positive interactions.


Goal 3 – Small talk and in-depth conversations

In order to unfold the magic of charisma, Anita practices with me to make small talk in cafes and bars and to skillfully steer people into deeper conversations.

Practical tools: Small talk in real-life situations

Anita specifically practices in cafes to improve her small talk skills in practice. In doing so, she asks open questions and creates a relaxed atmosphere, even if someone occasionally reacts irritated. These exercises have paid off not only in the personal sphere, but also in her professional life.


Conclusion: Charisma at work

After 11 sessions of 90 minutes each (she booked the big package), Anita has achieved her most important goals . She realizes that charisma is not only based on external factors, but above all on authentic connection, self-confidence, and positive communication.

She has largely shed her shyness. She now dares to approach other people and seems more relaxed and resilient. She has also received feedback from her colleagues that she seems more positive and self-confident. She interprets it in such a way that she appears more charismatic.

She plans to attend my workshop on quick-wittedness in the near future.


3. Psychology: the magical power of charisma

Charismatic people exert an irresistible attraction that captivates others. They stand out not only for external factors, but also for their ability to appreciate and respect others. The following story illustrates this.

Charisma at work: Inspire, not impress

Charisma means inspiring others rather than simply impressing them. A story from a gala dinner over a century ago illustrates this: Jennie Jerome, the mother of Winston Churchill, sat between British politicians Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone. Next to Gladstone, she felt impressed by his intelligence, admired his wisdom. Next to Disraeli, however, she felt the power of his presence, which she herself found wiser.

This anecdote shows how different personalities can make an impression in different ways – whether through intellect or charisma. True attraction does not come from self-expression, as is typical of narcissists. Rather, it’s about inspiring and impressing others in meaningful ways by acknowledging them.


4. Promoting charisma at work: 15 characteristics

Charisma is a powerful skill that empowers people to attract, positively influence, and inspire others. Each trait contributes in its own way to developing an inspiring and charismatic presence that can be valuable tools in the context of life coaching.


Here are 15 essential traits that can promote charisma at work:


1 Self-confidence:

Charismatic individuals show a healthy level of self-confidence, they raise optimal self-esteem. They believe in themselves and exude confidence.

Reason: Self-confidence makes it possible to appear authentic and convincing and to inspire others.

Example: a charismatic entrepreneur presents herself confidently in meetings, which inspires her team to believe in her vision and to work with commitment.


2 Charisma at work – empathy:

Charismatics have the ability to empathize with the feelings and perspectives of others and connect with those around them.

Reason: Empathy creates emotional connections and shows that you care about the needs and feelings of others.

Example: A charismatic teacher takes the time to understand the individual needs of her students, creating a supportive learning environment where everyone feels valued and understood.


3 Motivation:

Charismatic individuals have a strong inner motivation and are passionate about what they do.

Reason: Motivation inspires others to get involved and do their best.

Example: A charismatic sports coach is so passionate and motivated that he inspires his athletes to go beyond their limits and reach their full potential.


4 Rhetoric and Storytelling:

Charismatics are able to tell stories and communicate messages persuasively.

Reason: Rhetoric and storytelling help to persuade and create emotional connections

Example: A charismatic speaker uses engaging stories to captivate their audience and convey their message in a way that touches and inspires listeners.


5 Positive Mindset:

Charismatic people have an optimistic mindset and focus on opportunities and solutions.

Reason: A positive mindset attracts people and encourages them to think and act positively.

Example: A charismatic team leader uses his laid-back attitude to cheer up his team and use subtle humor to change the mindset.


6 Effective communication:

Charismatics are excellent listeners and communicators. You can convey clear messages and respond well to others.

Reason: Effective communication promotes understanding and collaboration in relationships.

Example: A charismatic negotiator actively listens, asks specific questions, and communicates clearly and empathetically.


7 Values and Integrity:

Charismatic people live by their values and show integrity in their actions.

Reason: Values and integrity create trust and credibility in relationships.

Example: A charismatic business leader leads her business with ethical responsibility and integrity. It embodies values such as fairness, transparency and sustainability.


8 Body language and charisma:

Charismatic individuals have positive body language and radiate magnetic energy.

Reason: Body language influences how others perceive us and can have a powerful emotional impact.

Example: A charismatic actress uses her facial expressions to believably portray emotions, her gestures emphasize her statements, and her voice varies to create tension and interest in the audience.


9 Mindfulness:

Charismatics are aware of their own feelings and the feelings of others. They pay attention to the needs and moods of those around them.

Reason: Mindfulness creates an empathic connection and allows you to respond in an appropriate way.

Example: A caregiver not only provides medical support, but also empathetic conversations, a warm smile, and a supportive presence.


10 Charisma at work – Being able to seduce:

Charismatics understand the art of seduction and can influence people in a positive way.

Reason: Seduction skills can be used to inspire and motivate people.

Example: A charismatic speaker uses seduction to captivate his audience and get them to support his ideas.


11 Correct timing:

Charismatic individuals have the ability to use the right timing to flash charisma at crucial moments.

Reason: Proper timing can draw attention and amplify influence.

Example: A charismatic politician uses an emotional appeal at the right moment to move the audience and convince them of his philosophy .


Have 12 life goals and visions:

Charismatic people have clear goals and an inspiring vision for their future.

Reason: Life goals and visions show commitment and create a common direction for others.

Example: A technology pioneer that strives to develop innovative technologies that improve people’s lives and advance society.


13 Be self-determined:

Charismatics know who they are and what they want, and live by their own values and beliefs.

Reason: Self-determination conveys authenticity and attracts people who admire this strength.

Example: A charismatic personality pursues his passions and is not influenced by external expectations.


14 Charismatic Smile:

Charismatics often have a sincere and welcoming smile that creates a positive atmosphere.

Reason: A smile conveys kindness and openness and creates a warm connection with others.

Example: A charismatic hostess greets guests with a warm smile that creates a pleasant and welcoming atmosphere.


15 Giving and Receiving Recognition:

Charismatic individuals know how important it is to give recognition to others and at the same time to give recognition to themselves.


Reason: Recognition strengthens relationships and increases mutual trust.

Example: A charismatic mentor praises her protégés for their progress and thus inspires their personal development.


5. Charisma or narcissism?


A study by psychologist Professor Mitja Back and his team has shown that “admiring” narcissism can be positively associated with charisma and attraction. This means that certain types of narcissism, especially when characterized by admiration and approval of others, can exhibit charismatic qualities. Here are some similarities and some differences.


Charisma and narcissism: 3 similarities

1) Attraction:

People are often attracted to charismatic and narcissistic individuals.

2) Rhetoric and Communication:

Both charismatics and narcissists are often very adept at communicating their thoughts and ideas convincingly and influencing others.

3) Emotional charisma:

Charismatic people can form strong emotional connections with others, similar to narcissists, who often have an attraction due to their strong emotional charisma.

Charisma and narcissism: 3 differences

1) Empathy:

Charismatic people often show empathy and can empathize with the feelings of others, while narcissists are less empathetic.

2) Recognition:

Charismatic people give recognition to inspire others, while narcissists often use recognition to enhance their own quest for self-worth.

3) Seduction:

Charismatics often attract people because of their positive and inspiring charisma. Narcissists, on the other hand, tend to pursue their goals through manipulation, control, conflict , and sometimes even bullying .

Conclusion: Charisma or narcissism

While charisma is based on a positive and inspiring charisma that encourages people to do their best and support others, narcissism can have negative effects by focusing on self-centeredness and manipulating relationships.

Effective life coaching aims to foster charisma by emphasizing authentic communication, empathy, and self-esteem, while also recognizing narcissistic tendencies and redirecting them into positive behaviors to achieve better relationships and personal growth.


© Timo ten Barge 1.5.24

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