“I think at some point everyone will realize that I’m not as competent as they think.”

Rafaela had never heard of imposter syndrome until recently. The boss of a growing software company with 40 employees was always the driving force, empathetic and full of ideas.

Recently, however, doubts have been creeping into her everyday life. What used to be easy feels hard. Outwardly sovereign, she asks herself inwardly: Am I really up to this position? Do I even deserve all this?

She has just separated from her partner, and here too uncertainty gnaws: Am I perhaps not capable of a relationship in my private life either? When asked what is on her mind most at the moment, she says: “I want to get rid of these paralyzing self-doubts and feel more lightness. I want to calm down in my role as boss, but also in my private life.”

 

CONTENT

Text Imposter syndrome

1. Imposter Syndrome Psychological Analysis
2. Imposter Syndrome Practical Application
3. Psychology: Where Imposter Syndrome Comes
From 4. Imposter Syndrome: Philosophical Analysis
5. Self-Test: Do I Have Impostor Syndrome?
6. 10 impulses against imposter syndrome

 

1. Imposter syndrome: psychological analysis

Rafaela’s symptoms point to imposter syndrome – a psychological pattern in which successful people inwardly devalue their achievements. They feel like impostors, even though there are no objective reasons for this.

The main signs of Rafaela:

• Performance doubts despite track record
• Perfectionism & control compulsion
• Difficulty accepting praise
• Private crises increase self-doubt

Why managers are particularly affected

Above all, leadership means decisiveness and responsibility. Those who are at the top are exposed – and therefore particularly susceptible to inner doubts. Many managers like Rafaela have grown up with the belief that only performance counts. Failure is not considered an option. However, this mindset promotes inner self-sabotage – especially when external successes are no longer enough to calm self-doubt.

 

2. Imposter Syndrome Practical Application

The imposter feeling does not become quieter through more power, but through conscious change inside and out. Rafaela begins to restructure her everyday life in small but effective steps – with a clear goal: less pressure, more trust. Four levers help her to do this:

 

1. Relinquish control – build trust systematically

Instead of controlling everything herself, Rafaela learns to delegate responsibility in a targeted manner. This is not a loss of control – but a conscious exercise in trust. Every week, she hands over two tasks to her team and reflects on what she finds difficult. In this way, delegation does not become a weakness, but a leadership quality.

 

2. Create structures for real recreation

Rafaela realizes: Breaks don’t have to be earned – they are necessary. That’s why she actively plans her recovery:
• Fixed rest periods in the calendar that are non-negotiable – e.g. daily offline hours in the afternoon.
• Home office days for more focus and less permanent social presence.
• Screen-free morning routine: The first 30 minutes after getting up belong to her alone – without e-mails, without messages, without scrolling. Instead: coffee, organizing your thoughts, feeling your breath.

 

3. Activate private resources – not just work

What counts in the job also counts privately: connection, exchange, sources of strength. Rafaela plans regular weekends with close friends, deliberately outside of everyday life. No to-do, no roles – just being. These time-outs are not escapism, but psychological stabilization: Those who see themselves reflected in real contact find their way back to self-awareness.

 

4. Document self-efficacy

Inner doubts cannot be “thought away” – but they lose power when facts stand up to them. Rafaela begins a simple ritual: Every week she writes down what she has succeeded in doing – professionally, personally, emotionally. Over time, this creates an antithesis to the inner voice of “not enough”.

 

Result:

Rafaela’s change does not begin with a big upheaval, but with many small decisions for herself. Control gives way to trust, continuous performance is replaced by structure – and self-care becomes a leadership discipline.

 

 

3. Psychology: where imposter syndrome comes from

Imposter syndrome often starts where our personal values and expectations meet old, inscribed beliefs – and make us doubt whether we are really “enough”.

 

1. Early imprinting: achievement = love

Many of those affected learned early on: I will only be seen if I achieve something. This link becomes an inner driver and prevents real self-acceptance.

 

2. The inner critic takes the lead

Instead of being sympathetic to themselves, people like Rafaela constantly hear the voice: “You’re not good enough. Others do it better. Immediately you realize that you are failing.” This inner critic is simply not so easily silenced.

 

3. Attachment and security – the underestimated foundation

The separation from her partner acts as a catalyst: a hold is also lost in her private life. When attachment is insecure, it reinforces the need to protect oneself through control – at work and in relationships.

 

4. The longing behind the doubt: to be seen

In the end, Rafaela herself is not only concerned with performance. She wants to be seen – not just for what she does, but for who she is. The exit from imposter syndrome begins with exactly this question: Can I just be like that – without proof?

 

Result:

Rafaela’s path begins with an honest look within. Their doubts are not a sign of weakness – but a call for real connection: to themselves, to others, to a healthy self-esteem. And that’s exactly where their true strength lies.

 

 

4. Imposter Syndrome: Philosophical Analysis

Simone de Beauvoir’s work “The Second Sex” sheds a clear light on Rafaela’s imposter syndrome. The book underlines that women are not condemned to passively follow the expectations of others.

Rafaela’s self-doubt, perfectionism and the crisis after the breakup show how she is paralyzed by external pressure and her inner claim to be perfect. This paralysis threatens to push her into a passive role in which she only reacts instead of actively shaping her life. As a woman in a leadership role, she constantly feels under pressure to prove herself, which reinforces her insecurities.

 

1. The Conflict: Caught in the Gaze of Others

Rafaela’s fear of being “not enough” stems from the pressure to constantly perform as a woman in a senior management position. This compulsion to prove shapes her self-doubt. Her separation intensifies the urge to seek recognition in her private life as well, which drives her into the passivity of constant “proving”.

 

2. Authenticity as liberation

Beauvoir emphasizes that freedom means creating oneself. Rafaela’s perfectionism binds her to foreign standards that paralyze her. To be authentic means to live her role as boss and private person without constant justification.

 

Result

Beauvoir shows that Rafaela’s imposter syndrome stems from the pressure of the “others” and her perfectionism, which threatens to force her into passivity. By embracing her freedom and authenticity, she can overcome this paralysis and act confidently – both professionally and privately.

 

5. Self-test: Do I have impostor syndrome?

 

Instructions: Answer the 8 questions in four categories with yes, sometimes or no. Write down your answers and count the points:

• Yes: 2 points
• Sometimes: 1 point
• No: 0 points

 

Category 1: Self-doubt and attribution of success

 

1. Do you often believe that your successes are just luck or coincidence?
2. Do you feel like you don’t really deserve your success?

 

Category 2: Perfectionism and inner pressure

 

3. Do you pressure yourself to be perfect to justify your role?
4. Do you feel an inner critic who devalues your performance?

 

Category 3: Recognition and private insecurities

5. Do you find it difficult to accept praise without downplaying it?
6. Do private insecurities (e.g. in relationships) increase your professional doubts?

 

Category 4: External pressure

 

7. Do you feel pressure to constantly prove yourself in order to be accepted by others?
8. Are you afraid that colleagues or superiors might doubt your competence?

 

Evaluation

 

• 0-3 points: Low signs of impostor syndrome. You are usually self-confident, but pay attention to isolated doubts.
• 4-8 points: Moderate signs. Self-doubt occasionally slows you down. Reflection or conversations can help.
• 9–16 points: Strong signs of impostor syndrome. Your doubts influence you significantly. Consider actively working on it, such as through self-reflection or professional support.

 

Conclusion Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome affects men just as much as women – but women in leadership positions, like Rafaela, often feel the pressure more strongly. Constantly feeling like you have to prove yourself can be really gruelling.

You don’t get out of it through even more performance, but through more confidence in yourself. If you stop wanting to be perfect, you not only gain inner peace, but also real strength.

 

6. Impulses against imposter syndrome

Recognize self-doubt and act more confidently.

🔹 1. Recognize your inner critic – and talk to him

“I can’t do that.” – Psychologist Dr. Valerie Young explains that such sentences are usually old thought patterns , not facts. Observe what you think – and check: Is it really true? Or is it just an old Echo?

🔹 2. Fear may be there – but it doesn’t lead the team

Fear is human, especially when you become visible. But it doesn’t have to control your decisions. According to a study by Harvard Medical School (2019), even a short breathing exercise noticeably lowers stress levels and creates inner clarity.

🔹 3. See through mental fallacies

“The others are smarter”, “I was just lucky” – sounds logical, but it rarely is. Psychology speaks of cognitive distortions here. Ask yourself: Would I say the same about someone else? If not, why about me?

🔹 4. Posture works – inside and out

Psychologist Prof. Tanja Gabriele Baudson (University of Koblenz) emphasizes: Posture influences self-perception. Especially when you are unsure, it helps to stand upright, to have a clear view – not only for your counterpart, but also for yourself.

🔹 5. Start – even if it’s not perfect

Procrastination is often the protective cloak of doubt. With small methods like timeboxing or the 2-minute rule, you can get into action. Not to achieve more – but to show yourself: I can start.

🔹 6. Connect with your original motivation

Why did you choose this path? What once inspired and motivated you? Those who regularly connect with their “why” develop more meaning – and less self-doubt (Frankl Institute, Vienna). It doesn’t have to be perfect to be fulfilling.

🔹 7. Exchange instead of seeking recognition

A real network is not an audience, but a resonance chamber. Look for empathetic people with whom you don’t have to prove anything. This strengthens belonging and protects you from being defined by performance.

🔹 8. Create security to show yourself

Instead of talking about shame, consciously design spaces in which you can show yourself – with everything that goes with it. These can be reflective conversations, supervision or peer groups. Thinking together replaces the feeling of being “alone with the problem”.

🔹 9. Presence instead of perfection

You don’t have to shine to be effective. Studies on emotional intelligence (e.g. Daniel Goleman, 2006) show that authenticity makes you credible. Authenticity attracts – far more than perfection.

🔹 10th. From “I have to” to “I can”

Ask yourself: Do I want this – or do I think I have to do it to earn recognition ? When you realize that you’re already valuable, you don’t have to prove yourself anymore. This relieves and strengthens you from the inside out.

 

© Timo ten Barge 26.06.25

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