“I want to change a few things, but above all the constant procrastination.” Lukas, 34, gets straight to the point when I ask him why he’s here today. “Procrastination helps me to suppress the stress in the short term. But in the end, it only makes things worse.” In the past, when he had more time, he often had creative moments. “I could just wait for the right time. But somehow it doesn’t work anymore.”
Between pressure and ambition
Now he knows that he actually needs support in his job, but he wants to do a lot of things himself. Lukas works as a web designer in a medium-sized company. He seems self-confident, open and curious. During our conversation, however, it becomes clear that there is a lot bubbling under the surface. “There are construction sites both professionally and privately. It feels like everything is coming crashing down on me at the same time.”
A view from the outside helps
“My girlfriend says I’m never really with her when we talk. She also accuses me of always knowing everything better and not taking her needs seriously. I also notice that I’m often in a bad mood because things aren’t going so well at work. That always leads to arguments.” A good friend who has experience with coaching finally gave Lukas the impetus to seek help. “He said I was too stuck in my own head and needed an outside perspective. So I’m here.”
Lukas’ goals: Improve procrastination and relationships 1. Overcome
procrastination 2.
Content:
Text: Procrastination – Procrastination as a wake-up call
- Psychological analysis
- Procrastination: Practice
- Procrastination: Psychology
- Graphic: Procrastination
- Procrastination: Philosophy
- Conclusion: Procrastination as an opportunity
- Test: Procrastination
1. Psychological analysis
Lukas uses his avoidance behavior to avoid stress and anxiety in the short term. This feels like a solution at first, but it exacerbates the problems in the long term – both at work and privately.
Professional: Procrastination as a solution
• Avoidance of fear and shame: Luke procrastinates to avoid the fear of failure and the shame of not being good enough. • Perfectionism: Everything is supposed to be perfect before it starts – which often means that it doesn’t start at all. • Need for control: He wants to do everything himself, which overwhelms him but at the same time makes him seem important. Consequences: Growing mountains of work, stress and a feeling of loss of control.
Private: Brainfulness and distance
• Emotional distance: Lukas is too much guided by his mind and has little access to his feelings. This often makes him unapproachable in conversations.
• Postponement of anger: The stress at work means that Lukas is often irritable in his relationship.
• Lack of listening: His girlfriend does not feel taken seriously, which increases the conflicts . Consequences: arguments, emotional distance and frustration on both sides.
General: Causes not recognized
Lukas sees procrastination as a problem, but does not realize that it is only a symptom. Fear, perfectionism and a compulsion to control drive him. At the same time, they wait for the perfect moment – although motivation often only arises through doing.
His goals in coaching:
1. Overcoming
procrastination Lukas wants to learn how to set priorities and break down large projects into feasible steps. 2. Better communication:
In the relationship, Lukas wants to learn to be present and talk more openly about his needs.
2. Procrastination: Practice
1) Action comes before motivation
Instead of waiting to be motivated, Lukas tries the “5-minute rule”:
1. He chooses a task that he is procrastinating and commits to completing it for just five minutes.
2. He delegates more tasks to his employees and hires a new employee.
2) Communication: Judge less, understand more
Lukas tries out a daily “judgment-free listening” with his girlfriend:
1. He deliberately devotes 10 minutes of his undivided attention to her.
2. While she speaks, he does not try to give advice or offer solutions. Instead, he mirrors their statements (“That sounds like you’re frustrated because…”).
3. He creates common rituals that strengthen connection, e.g. a festive evening for togetherness.
Conclusion
Procrastination as a wake-up call
Lukas has realized that procrastination is more than just a bad habit – it is an indication to take a closer look. Fears, desires, values and life goals play a role. By acting instead of waiting, he has learned that motivation grows and perfectionism loses power.
Improvement in the relationship
In his partnership, Lukas consciously practices not judging and asking about his girlfriend’s needs. These small changes have reduced conflict and brought him emotionally closer to her.
3. Procrastination: Psychology
Procrastination: More than just procrastination
Procrastination is often more than just a bad habit. It is psychologically an emotional reaction to stress, overwhelm or the pressure to be perfect.
What is procrastination exactly?
Procrastination, Latin for “postponing until tomorrow”, is the permanent postponement of tasks. It results from emotional stress and lack of self-regulation, not laziness.
Why we are procrastinating:
• Fear of failure: It’s better not to start at all than to face the risk of failure. • Perfectionism: Those who believe that everything has to be perfect often block the first step. • Delayed gratification: Instant distractions like social media feel better in the short term than the thought of a strenuous task.
4. Graphic: Vicious circle of procrastination
When it comes to procrastination, it all starts with a big task that triggers stress. Distraction brings relaxation for a short time, but the pressure continues to grow – a vicious circle, as shown in the graphic below.
5. Procrastination: Philosophy as Reflection
Instead of viewing procrastination as a mere obstacle, we can interpret it as a philosophical cue: it shows that something in us is demanding attention. As Socrates said in the Apology, the unexamined life is not worth living—perhaps procrastination is Luke’s unconscious call to look critically at his life.
6. Conclusion: Procrastination as an opportunity
For Lukas, coaching does not only mean changing the way he works. It’s about finding a new way of dealing with stress and perfectionism – and at the same time being more mindful of yourself and others. Procrastination is not a personal failure. It is a signal that we should ask ourselves what we really need.
7th test: does procrastination affect your life?
Find out if procrastination is a problem in your everyday life. Answer the following 10 questions with “Yes” or “No”. At the end, count your “yes” answers and find out which category you fall into. 1. Do you often feel like you’re putting off tasks even though you have enough time to complete them? 2. Do you often consider that you need to be in the “right mood” before starting a task? 3. Do you consciously engage with things like social media, series or other distractions to avoid unpleasant tasks? 4. Do you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or irritated when you think about your to-do list? 5. Do you often put off big projects until you strain your luck and get under time pressure? 6. Do you have trouble concentrating when you start with a task that you have previously put off? 7. Do you often think, “I’ll start tomorrow,” and then postpone the task again? 8. Do you notice that you often only become productive shortly before a deadline because you can’t find motivation beforehand? 9. Do you feel guilty, ashamed, or frustrated for not getting things done on time? 10. Does the thought that something has to be perfect keep you from even starting? ________________________________________
Evaluation: Count your “yes” answers
0–3: Occasional procrastinator
You tend to put off tasks occasionally, but overall, you’re well-organized and manage to meet your commitments. Use this strength to stay proactive even during stressful periods. 4-7: Habit Procrastinator
Procrastination plays a noticeable role in your life. It causes you to often come under pressure and be less efficient than you could be. Consider using small strategies like the “5-minute rule” to get into action. 8–10: Chronic procrastinator
Procrastination significantly affects your life. You often feel overwhelmed and trapped in a cycle of procrastination, stress and frustration. It’s important to identify the underlying reasons – such as fear of failure or perfectionism – and use targeted strategies such as prioritization and support to drive long-term change.
Take time to reflect:
• What tasks do you put off most often? • What triggers procrastination in you (e.g. stress, feelings of guilt)? What small steps can you take to break the vicious cycle?
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Do you wish for change or the achievement of new life goals? Book a free initial consultation here. © Timo ten Barge 01/21/2025
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