Arashi wants to learn everything about body language, so he tells me in the first session. His name translates into German as “Sturm”, which is very interesting because he has the composure and mindfulness of a stoic.

Recently, however, there has been some unrest. Since he has received negative feedback from his colleagues several times, some of his self-confidence has been lost, he says. Body language always beats the content, only 7% of the time it depends on the content, which is the “7-38-55%” rule.” So a colleague to Arashi. He believed the myth.

Arashi comes from Japan and has lived in Germany for 15 years. He works as an executive in a medium-sized automotive company. Arashi has difficulty using his facial expressions, gestures and body language in a targeted manner, especially during presentations. This challenge was exacerbated by feedback from a colleague. Since he is a lover of clear language, he was initially worried and felt a bit ashamed. It doesn’t seem to help him much, because the content is supposedly of little importance.

The company’s internal coaches could not help Arashi because his needs seemed too individual. Therefore, he searched the Internet for life coaches who specialize in tailor-made care. Arashi was glad that we were able to clear up this misunderstanding right at the beginning of the first Life Coaching session:

In a presentation that is more aimed at content precision, the application of this rule is hardly relevant. More on that later…

 

Content

Text example: Body language

1) Analysis Life Coach
2) What is body language?
3. Body language: 4 important gestures
4. Body language – example Japan
5) 5. Body language myth explained
→ What does the “7-38-55%” rule mean?
6. Body Language Quiz

 

1. Body Language – Analysis Life Coach

 

Arashi came to me to work on the following goals:

Increase self-esteem
Communicate successfully
Understanding facial expressions and gestures (body language)
Using rhetoric and repartee in a targeted manner

 

Goal 1: Increase self-esteem

Arashi seems a bit shy for a manager. He told me that as a child he had problems at school and was bullied , which sometimes still burdens him and affects his self-acceptance.

In order to increase his self-worth , it is important that Arashi first understands what self-worth means exactly and what components it consists of. Then we work specifically on his strengths to strengthen his self-confidence.

Practical tools:

Recognition of strengths: Arashi begins by identifying his personal strengths.

Use strengths in a targeted manner:

Arashi actively seeks opportunities to use his strengths in his professional and personal environment. He thinks about how he can make the most of his talents to be successful and develop. In doing so, he also relies on effective time management to advance his personal development, and sometimes experiences a sense of FOMO in the face of the multitude of possibilities.

Feedback from family and friends: Arashi asks family and close friends for honest feedback on his strengths and abilities. He inquires about situations or characteristics in which they particularly perceive his strengths.

 

Goal 2: Communicate successfully

Arashi has only been in Germany for 15 years and has difficulty putting himself exactly in other people’s minds. He also finds it challenging to communicate his own needs clearly. He is highly sensitive, somewhat shy and often avoids conflicts , which is not very expedient for a manager.

Practical tools

Active constructive communication: He learns to draw others into his world by asking open-ended questions and giving subtle compliments. Like him, he also learns how to make small talk or in-depth conversations more exciting with narrative elements, how storytelling can be designed.

I-messages: Arashi learns to express himself clearly and communicate his own feelings and needs.

 

Goal 3: Understand body language

Since a different type of communication is common in Japan, we start by exploring the differences to German culture, also in terms of norms and values . We then focus on learning and refining facial expressions, gestures and body language.

Practical tools:

Facial expressions and gestures

Especially looking directly was a challenge for Arashi, as it is often avoided in Japanese culture, especially among people of higher status. Arashi practices at home in front of a mirror the different facial expressions and gestures that we have practiced together to become aware of how he authentically appears to others. I assure him that this exercise does not make him a narcissist .

Emblems, Illustrators, Adaptors

Arashi analyzes videos or films with scenes from everyday life or conversations with me in order to recognize typical German gestures. He is very motivated and takes notes on the meanings of these gestures and how they are used in different situations.

 

Goal 4: Rhetoric and repartee

Arashi has now learned a lot about body language, facial expressions and gestures, which allows him to present more convincingly and skillfully convey emotions to better capture attention.

Practical tools

Role plays for quick-witted reactions:

We do role-plays in which he reacts to challenging situations that typically arise in professional conversations. He practices reacting quickly and precisely without losing the thread. In the process, he learns to be cool, confident and quick-witted even in unexpected moments.

Convincing argumentation with ethos, logos and pathos:

Arashi learns the basics of rhetorical persuasion. He practices constructing persuasive arguments based on ethos (credibility of the speaker), logos (logical reasoning) and pathos (emotional appeal). He uses these elements in a targeted manner to convince in his presentations.

 

Conclusion: Achievement of goals and satisfaction

After intensive life coaching – Arashi had booked the large life coaching package – he made important progress in his communication skills. He now recognizes the facial expressions and body language of his colleagues better, but also understands the limits of body language.

Through training in rhetoric and repartee , Arashi can now present convincing arguments and skillfully fend off unfair tactics. His strengthened self-worth allows him to appear with more charisma and believe in his own strengths. Arashi has achieved his most important goals in life and feels strengthened and satisfied in his communication skills. These successes reflect his personal philosophy , which is based on self-development and effective communication.

 

2. What is body language?

 

Body language is what you say to your body without speaking a word. This includes gestures, facial expressions, how you stand or sit, and how you move. It shows how you feel and what you think, even if you don’t say anything.

– Body language refers to non-verbal signals through posture and movements of the body.
– Facial expressions are facial expressions that show emotions such as joy, anger or sadness.
– Gestures are conscious or unconscious hand and arm movements that reinforce messages.

 

3. Body language: four important gestures

 

The different types of gestures, such as illustrators, adaptors, regulators and emblems, complement our verbal communication and help convey messages and intentions. By becoming aware of how we use and interpret gestures, we can deepen our understanding of interpersonal interactions and communicate more effectively.

1 Illustrators

Illustrators are gestures that accompany speech. They help to clarify and emphasize what is being said. These gestures are often spontaneous and occur almost automatically as we speak.

According to David McNeill, there are 4 types of illustrators:

 

Pictorial gestures: (iconics)

Explanation: Pictorial gestures are like small paintings that illustrate words. They paint visual pictures to bring ideas to life.

Example: A speaker makes movements like flying a kite to convey the feeling of lightness.

 

Rhythm Gestures: (beats)

Explanation: Rhythm gestures follow the beat of the words and emphasize the linguistic rhythm. They are like little accompanying musicians for what is spoken.

Example: Someone knocks lightly on the table to mimic the pulse of an exciting story.

 

Metaphorical gestures: (metaphorics)

Explanation: In contrast to pictorial gestures, methaphoric gestures are about clarifying abstract concepts.

Examples: Someone opens their palms like a book to symbolize the “opening of a new chapter” in life.

 

Pointing gestures: (deictics)

Explanation: Pointing gestures draw attention to specific people, places, or objects. They are like human pointers that point out details.

Example: Someone points to an object in the distance to indicate something interesting.

 

2 Adaptors:

Explanation: Adaptors are calming gestures that often occur unconsciously and serve to relieve tension or manage stress.

There are 3 types of calming gestures:

1) Self-adaptors Example: A person plays with their hair
2) Third-party adaptors Example: another person is touched
3) Object adaptors Example: playing with a clock

They can indicate nervousness or insecurity and are often individual and personal. Examples: A person plays with their hair while waiting for an important message.

N.B. Touch calms: Psychologist Panksepp says: Touch promotes the release of hormones such as oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone”, and has a positive effect on our well-being as well as our social interactions.

 

3) Regulators

Regulators are gestures that control the course of a conversation. They help to direct the flow of communication, fill pauses or signal the change of speaker.

Example: During a conversation, a person nods to express agreement or understanding, encouraging the speaker to continue.

 

4 Emblems

Emblems are gestures that have a clearly defined meaning and can be understood in certain cultural contexts. They could even replace words or sentences and are often used deliberately.

Example: The “thumbs up” sign to express agreement, empathy or recognition or a shake of the head to signal rejection or disinterest.

 

4. Body language – example Japan

 

There are interesting studies that have examined the differences in gestures, facial expressions and body language between Germans and Japanese.

Differences in gestures:

– Germans are more likely to show direct gestures such as pointing or waving.
– Japanese people use more subtle gestures and non-verbal signals.
– Germans tend to show more open postures, while Japanese seem more reserved.

Study: “Cross-Cultural Differences in Gesture Interpretation” (Goldin-Meadow et al., 1999)

 

Differences in facial expressions:

– Germans are more likely to show open facial expressions such as smiles or frowns.
– Japanese people control their facial expressions more and show fewer emotional expressions.
– Germans use more eye contact during the conversation compared to Japanese.

Study: “Culture and the Body: East-West Differences in Cardiac Perception” (Ma-Kellams et al., 2011)

 

Differences in posture and movement:

– Germans tend to have a loose and relaxed posture.
– Japanese pay more attention to forms of politeness such as bowing or avoiding direct eye contact.
– Germans show a wider range of gestures and movements during the conversation compared to Japanese.

Study: “Cross-Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Communication” (Matsumoto et al., 1998)

 

5. Body language myth explained

 

What does the “7-38-55%” rule mean?”

The “7-38-55% rule” by Albert Mehrabian, an American psychologist and professor, emphasizes the importance of verbal and non-verbal elements in communication. It states that:

7% of the message through words,
38% through voice modulation and
55% are conveyed through non-verbal communication.

However, this rule is often misunderstood and applied, causing confusion, including in Arashi.

 

Mehrabian’s study

Mehrabian’s study was designed to investigate the importance of body language, intonation, and words in the communication of emotions, particularly in relation to the credibility of one-word sentences. The professor even explains this explicitly on his website.

Facial expressions are particularly convincing when it comes to emotions

When communicating emotions, facial expressions are therefore very much more important than language. Especially when non-verbal signals do not match the spoken words, people tend to give more credence to body language.

Incongruities: Positive words, negative facial expressions

If someone is asked how they are doing and they answer “good” while their facial expressions seem sad or neutral and their body language is limp, there is a discrepancy between words and non-verbal messages. This discrepancy raises doubts about what is said and underlines the role of facial expressions in communication.

 

Result

Body language does not beat the content in a presentation. In a presentation that is more aimed at content precision, the application of this rule is therefore hardly relevant.

 

6. Body Language Quiz

 

Question 1: What aspects does body language include?

a) Facial expressions only
b) Gestures only
c) Gestures, facial expressions, posture and movement

Question 2: What do illustrators express?

a) Gestures accompanying speech
b) Calming gestures
c) Clear gestures of meaning

Question 3: Which gestures are used to control conversations?

a) Illustrators
b) Emblems
c) Regulators

Question 4: What are adaptors?

a) Calming gestures
b) Gesture with clear meaning
c) Gestures accompanying speeches

Question 5: What kind of gestures have a clearly defined meaning?

a) Rhythm gestures
b) Metaphorical gestures
c) Emblems

Question 6: What emotions does someone show when they say “good” but seem sad?

a) Congruent emotions
b) Incongruent emotions
c) Neutral emotions

Question 7: What role does facial expressions play in the communication of emotions?

a) No relevant role
b) Decisive role
c) Minor role

Question 8: What does the “7-38-55% rule” mean?

a) 7% of the message through words, 38% through voice modulation, 55% through non-verbal communication
b) 7% of the message through non-verbal communication, 38% through words, 55% through voice modulation
c) 7% of the message through non-verbal communication, 55% through words, 38% through voice modulation

Question 9: Which culture tends to show more subtle gestures?

a) Germans
b) Japanese
c) Americans

Resolution:

Question 1: c) Gestures, facial expressions, posture and movement
Question 2: a) Gestures accompanying speech
Question 3: c) Regulators
Question 4: (a) Calming gestures
Question 5: c) Emblems
Question 6: b) Incongruent emotions
Question 7: (b) Decisive role
Question 8: a) 7% of the message through words, 38% through voice modulation, 55% through non-verbal communication
Question 9: b) Japanese

How many answers do you have correctly? This quiz will give you an insight into the different aspects of body language and their importance in interpersonal communication

 

Want to learn more about body language? Book a free initial consultation here.

 

© Timo ten Barge 11.07.24